Aug 04 2008
Attached to nothing
(… well, almost!)
Things people want to hear…
– Andrew Matthews –
Had a call this morning, at 9.45 am. The voice on the other side of the phone had asked if I was available for a photoshoot, as his makeup artist just called off… and I had to say: “No.” And then the photographer said: “It’s paid one”, and then I said: “No, thanks, I prefer to stay in my bed as I made it late last night.” So I gave him a phone number of someone else, and he got himself a makeup artist after all… which is just fine.
As now I’ve been awake anyway, I got out of my bed and saw four coins on the floor, all placed inline. I looked at Big Girl who was half asleep and asked: “Did you play with my coins Big Girl?” (She’s about 10 cm taller then me and yet she always go on her toes whenever she wants to kiss me. Which is very comic to me, by the way… so I tease her about it a little. Yesterday for instance, she gave me a hug and a kiss on the street and some woman who was just crossing the street with her partner at that moment said to her: “YOU DON’T HAVE TO STAND ON YOUR TOES!”)
“Yes”, she said. “There came text message on your mobile an hour ago, so I woke up, stood next to bed and pulled the coins around with my toes.”
And then she told me what the text message said…
And then I asked if she’s sniffing through my messages more often, and she answered: “doesn’t the message get displayed by itself as soon as it arrives on your mobile?” And I said: “No.” And then we both laughed. Hmmm… it looks like someone is gonna be punished today, for being very naughty!
No really, I believe she didn’t do it on purpose. So many buttons on that thing called “mobile”! ;-)
This is thus a Big Girl. A while ago Lette couldn’t resist asking her if she’d pose for a photo (even she’s not a model at all!) and after a lots of thinking and being VERY nervous about this photoshoot, she finally said YES to her.
 |
| Photo by: Lette (www.lette-fotografie.nl), makeup and hairstyling by: Clementine (www.clementinenguyen.nl) … Visible female touch in all aspects! Looks definitely like the girls had a fun that day. :) |
Then Lette asked me if I’d like to do makeup for her photoshoot and I unfortunately had to say no. (Not that I didn’t want to, but I just couldn’t, as Big Girl is unable to sit patiently 10 minutes for me, let alone a whole hour. Honestly! We tried that a couple of times and it was very frustrating for both of us…) So I recommended her my good colleague Clementine (who just did a great makeup job on this pic I think, the same as Lette did with making it!), who has a bit more authority over her when it’s about makeup.
No way I’m gonna fight that fact!
Anywayz, playing with the coins on my floor - and sniffing my message this morning, can’t be more weird or any worse then what happened last night.
Last night we left the pub about 3 o’clock AM. Ger was with us as well, as we’d have one more whiskey at my home, so we left the bar all together.
On our way out, 3 other guys tried to enter the bar, but the bar owner said: ”No, sorry, we’re closed!”
Apparently slightly irritated, the tallest guy gave Big Girl one of those LOOOONG looks and then he turned to me and asked loudly: “WHO FbeepCKS HER?!”
Hmmm… being confronted with unexpected situations and questions like these, I sometimes DO UNDERSTAND women. Really, I do! And I really hate “unavoidable” situations like this one. There is not much you can do about it when something like this occurs. To my opinion there are merely a few options available:
- you act as you didn’t hear the question and you say to your friends “let’s go” (dangerous one, ‘cause you can get hit from behind)
- you kick his butt right there where he stands (even more dangerous one [but I’m really not an aggressive guy… and he was, above of all, much bigger then me ;-) ])
- you talk to him in order to change his thoughts (the most dangerous one, it takes time and effort and it also exposes your friends and yourself to danger, without any guarantees you’ll succeed whatsoever…)
Naturally. I chose the latest. Well, oh, it wasn’t really a choice. It’s just something you are obligated to do if you have any self respect at all. At least, I felt like that last night.
So I put my hand on his shoulder and I said: “Dude, do I look like someone who’s fbeepckin’ her? Come on, take a look at me!”
Him: “I WANT TO KNOW IF ANY OF TWO OF YOU IS FbeepCKIN’ HER!”
Me (giving him another shoulder touch): “Well, as you’re asking it that straight, then I have a very disappointing announcement: no, I don’t fbeeeeepck her! Maybe he does. Perhaps you should ask him” (pointing at Ger). His two friends were laughing (which was very promising!)
Him: “Does he fbeepck you?” (He now asks a Big Girl and pointing at Ger, he also lowered his voice, which was good!)
Big Girl: “Well hmm.. no. He does!” (She points back at me. — Not good!)
Me: “Noooo, she’s such a liar! Just look at me. (another shoulder touch). I’m at most a small jerk who plays with his dbeeepck alone at home almost every day, Like this. (I pointed to my dbeeeeeepck to demonstrate masturbeepation) Now, do you honestly think I can be screwing anyone, let alone a girl like her? Dude, all I can say is this: I…. DIDN’T have a SEX … with THAT WOMAN! Mrs… eghmm, Big Girl.”
His friends laughing again (good!), and we all laughed (good!), but HE’s still being serious (– not good!).
Me: “Listen, why don’t you come here next time — ON TIME so we have a drink together, hmm?!” Then I took his hand and we shaked eachothers hands.
Him: “Well, it might be a good idea.”
Me: “Alright then, see you some time soon. BUT BE ON TIME!”
And that’s where I left it.
And that’s how primitive people can be.
Even in a country like the Netherlands.
Fortunately, Ger and I haven’t got beaten up - and Big Girl wasn’t raped! We were lucky I guess. So, we all had a good reason just to go home and have our last drink. And so we did, as it was our intention anyway.
Sometimes I just get tired of these kind of things. Perhaps I should avoid pubs for a while?!
But while working at home, except doing photoshoots and have friends visits sometimes, pubs are actually my only social contact with people and the outside (real) world… one might understand that an attempt to avoid pubs is therefore a tough issue.
———–
One thing I still don’t get: why do some guys behave like jerks whenever they want to talk to a woman? Seriously, why is that? Can’t they just have a normal approach and conversation with a woman?
And why is an average guy simply UNABLE to talk with girls about stuff that matter to GIRLS?! Why is that?
Yesterday for instance, I spent at least half an hour talking to a Big Girl ABOUT HER HAIR only! Not because I had to, or it was a theater play or so… no nothing like that at all. But because it apparently was important to her and because I wanted to - and I’m honest about it… as she was serious about it too. She was also sad a little bit lately for the fact that some hairdresser screwed her hair completely!
Is it then really that difficult to understand that her hair is serious business to her, just like broken nails or even broken leg might be serious business to some other woman?
And WHY so many guys can’t just use their brain when they have one? Why is that?
OK, I can understand drunkenness. Sometimes I get drunk too.. But is that a legal excuse for being a jerk?
Things can get even worse sometimes.
Occasionally there were weird - and even rude questions fired at me (and her too!) in last 2 month. The questions like these:
“How much does she cost?”
“Is she a transvestite?”
“Are you a gay?”
“Is she soon available?”
“HEY!! Is he your boyfriend (guys asking her often, pretty normal one except the way it gets asked.)”?
“Is she your girlfriend (girls asking me sometimes, far more politely then guys though)”?
And there were things said (to her) like this one:
“My dbeepck is bigger than his!” …or even worse, but I won’t mention it here, as kids might be reading this post as well. ;-)
Of course, often there happen (far more) talks with nice people as well. But it still bugs me.
So, the questions I HAVE TO ASK are these: What’s wrong with us? What’s wrong with this world? Is everyone’s mind screwed that badly by a TELEVISION and it’s sex late, late shows? Are there normal people in (and outside of) pubs at all? Why is it that hard not to be a troublemaker and that easy to be an a$$hole? And why is it sometimes almost impossible to spend the night in a pub with a nice woman – and still have a good time together? Is it really all just about the FbeeeeeepCK and the PbeeepNIS?
Nothing is wrong with us I guess.
Nothing but the fact that we compete with eachother all the time. Even when there is no need to.
Ongoing genes/sperm war thing, I suppose.
It IS thus all about the FbeeeeepCK and the PbeeeeeeeepNIS after all.
What a shame for a civilized world!
Now I guess Big Girl understands why I behave the way I do (that’s what bugs HER a little) - and why I have to say to all these guys simply the truth:
“No, I’m not her boyfriend, go ahead - she’s available!”
“Well, maybe she’s a transvestite, haven’t ask her that myself yet! Why don’t you ask her and check it out yourself?!”
“No I’m not a gay. Are you? Is there something wrong with gays?”
“Why don’t you give it a try - and find out? Maybe she likes you as much or even more then she likes me, so perhaps she says ‘Yes’.”
…..
And if she doesn’t understand it, well, hmmm… never mind then. She’ll stay close to me and go and hang out with me as long as she respects me (my freedom, my beliefs and also my decisions) or as long as she enjoys it herself. Or both.
Just being honest, as I don’t lie to women. Certainly not to her. And I don’t lie to men either. If she asks where I’ve been the last 3 days, I tell her exactly where I’ve been, whether she likes it or not. If she has to ask me something like that, then the chance is big she won’t like what I’d have to tell her at all. But that’s just the way things work (with me).
Sometimes I do tell things people want to hear… or even to read. :)
