Tata Indicom (slow motion)

The day before he took his flight to Europe, my Indian couchsurf friend Aman left me his wireless Tata Indicom USB modem. He said not to get confused as it’s registered on the name of his other friend, but as long as paid I should be able to use it. My other Indian couchsurf friend Sanu helped me to download and install appropriate software (we did that while booking our trip to Agra, at some travel agency’s office at Pahar Ganj) the night before we took off to Agra.. but it wouldn’t work, although the modem did work on Aman’s laptop two days before.

People at Tata Indicom’s office said yesterday that I have only to pay a monthly fee and it should work. I said the monthly fee is paid already by friend of mine and I asked them if there was a way to test it before eventually new payment happens and they said: “no, you should pay first.”

So I paid and it, again, didn’t work. :-(

Then they said it’s not the modem that causes the trouble, but my laptop settings and they would send their technician to my address to fix it.

In the meantime my mobile phone is receiving 10-20 junk sms messages a day and 2 or 3 call-center sales calls a week (they even tried to sale me some insurances on the phone, not minding that I speak English only and staying in India not longer then 4 weeks.. Sadly but true.)

Slow motion

I’ve been chasing wireless Internet connection for almost a week now and I felt kinda frustrated. Internet cafe’s at the moment have either worthless Internet connections, run often on some really old equipment, like 15 inch monitors with 800×600 screen resolution and old IExplorer web browsers that do not support all websites features… or some cafe’s are even without air conditioning. I realized Delhi was running on a slow motion mode.

As I’ve got out on Shadipur metro station and I was on my way to Tata Indicom office. I’ve been there also yesterday. My couchsurf host Shiva was there with me to help me out. The very attractive (and a bit arrogant) young Indian girl who works there, did manage to get the money out of my pocket, but she didn’t do her job well. My wireless Tata Indicom USB modem still didn’t work and she said yesterday their technician would call - and visit me within 24 hours, to fix it.. but he didn’t show up, neither he called.

Not even after 36 hours.

Tata Indicom wireless USB modem.

So I stood there in a front of Tata Indicom’s door once again and I decided to have a cigarette before I’d go in. Due to my frustration, my self esteem was just too low, so I was about to pump it up with a short slow motion cigarette meditation session. The beautiful Indian girl’s self esteem was on the other hand too high – that was the case yesterday at least… and I was about to change that too.

No, I was not planning to offer her a cigarette, nor ask her to meditate with me.

It was a simple office, with a single room where 4 Tata’s employees sat. I didn’t say hello to them when I entered the office but I went straight to this beautiful Indian girl whom I spoke yesterday.

Me: Your technician didn’t call, neither he showed up.
Her: Please take a seat (I took a seat without saying thank you.)

She looked as fresh, pretty and arrogant, just as she was yesterday, only this time she had a huge blue (plum) bite spot on her neck. Perfect! Just what I needed. Time to make her super ego suffer a little.

Me: Rough night, huh!
Her: Excuse me?
Me: I said, rough night (pointing with my finger to her neck)

As I said that, the enormous stream of blood rushed into her face at once. Her face become red within 2 seconds.

The feeling of sudden uneasiness I just gave her, she tried to camouflage with a shy smile, but she felt uncomfortable enough that her look fell down and got nailed to her office desk. Of course she’d try to camouflage it with a bit of make-up before she left her home that morning, but with such a heat, it would be pointless. She knew that. What she didn’t know, is that I knew that too.

So I thought it would be nice from me now, to help her out a little. :-)

Me: It doesn’t look that bad. It could’ve been even worse… but on the other hand, it’s always a good thing to have a passionate lover.
Her: Eughmm… (smile, still looking down as her face became even more red)

Her self esteem was now a bit lower then mine, or on the same level as mine at least.. which was good.

Me: Well, hmmm… where do we go from here?
Her: If you give me a second, I’ll make a call on your behalf.
Me: Sounds good. Please go ahead.

The beautiful Indian girl with a red face dialed quickly a couple of numbers, so it took her a while until she finally got into a conversation with someone. Despite her lightly arrogant behavior yesterday, today she was working for me. Nice… but nothing for me to be happy about yet. She should have done that work yesterday too, as I paid her for that. And above of all, there was no any garancy that the job would be done this time either.

She finally noted the number on a piece of paper while ending her phone call.

Me: What’s that number?
Her: It’s the complains registration number sir.
Me: I came here to get my modem fixed, not to complain (* smile *)
Her: I know. It’s just the normal procedure.
Me: Well, oh, all fine with me. What else?
Her: Our technician shall visit you today before 9 ‘o clock pm.
Me: You said that yesterday too.
Her: No, no… this time he will come for sure.
Me: How certain are you about it? ’cause I have no that many time to waist visiting your office every day and waiting at my home for your technician that wouldn’t come.
Her: Today he will most certainly come.
Me: Are you 100% sure about it?
Her: Definitely. Before he comes, he will give you a phone call.
Me: Alright, I’ll take your word for it.. (* smile *)
Her: Alright (* smile *)

Me: We’ll see. Well, thank you for your time. (I stood up)
… and eughm…. tell your boyfriend to take it easy tonight, will ya?!

I gave her that last payback kick on my way out, so her face became red once more..
This one was for free and for my personal satisfaction. Just wanted to see her blush once again.

Me: (* smile *) Bye now, and have a nice day.
Her: (turning to her female colleague and shyly laughing) Bye, and you too have a nice day.

10 minutes later, while entering the metro, I’ve got a phone call. It was Tata Indicom’s technician.
My day was promising already… and yet, nothing was certain. Not in India at least. Calling is easy. One point something billion people in India do that. Getting job done is obviously something else.

——-

Tata Indicom’s technician hasn’t show up that day either. Two Tata’s guys called me in stead asking to confirm my address and about the modem errors. To the first guy calling I said I couldn’t tell about the errors as I was in the metro. During the second call I pointed them to the fact that I was told they should pay me a visit, not to bug me on the phone.

He eventually went on like blah blah blah (* Indian English is nothing like UK or American English, I don’t understand half they say on the phone *) and at the end he said something what I understood sounded like: “your good name sir.”

I asked if they were about to send anyone at all, but in stead of giving me an answer, Tata’s guy mumbled something in the horn and he eventually hung up.

F*CK!

Shall I visit that good looking arrogant Indian girl tomorrow again and tell her something really nasty? That she has a several more imperfections, like a huuuuuuuuuuuge dark shades around her eyes and her clothes choice is worthless - and that in no circumstances she could possibly ever be my date choice?

Anyways, the electricity went 6 times down today (as my laptop battery died somewhere underway, maybe the airport scanners killed it.. who would know), so I lost some of my works. Very annoying.

What else?
It’s almost midnight - almost new day - new opportunities. I like that.

Which makes me wonder: does anything here work properly, but Bollywood, TV, Sapachi bakeries and the brand new made metro lines (which however do have far better air conditioning then I’ve seen in Amsterdam, Paris and London.. have to mention that)?

As I just wrote these lines, a new sms message just arrived. Not a junk sms this time. It said:

“You have enough of your beautiful presence to Shiva. Now it’s our turn. We miss you and our great time has to be continued. In cool mountains, hippies and a party at Kasol on 22d are calling. Do yourself a favor…… Call and we’ll explain how to reach us and arrange a room.”

Screw sucking Internet, mobile phones and 40+ degrees temperatures in Delhi for the time being! Maybe I shouldn’t do any Photoshots here at all?!

Maybe I do just that. Go and get some fresh air in the mountains.

Right now I have a headache from here to Hong-Kong. The heat is also doing it’s job in Delhi very well. Can’t deny that either.

I think I’ll now take a few aspirins and try to get some sleep.