(Smokers) most friendly airport in the world

Belgrade’s Nikola Tesla airport is definitely not the biggest one out there, nor it’s the most glamorous one, but there are three things on which Belgrade’s Nikola Tesla airport overtops all other airports in entire world:

1. It’s probably (smokers) most friendly airport in entire world.
2. It has the prettiest customs ladies.
3. It’s stuff is extremely helpful, kind and polite.

As I’ve been around the wold, I think I can say that!

Nikola Tesla, smokers most friendly airport in entire world

Let me begin with smoking part. I’m addicted to nicotine, alright. The same way I’m addicted to coffee. Have to admit that too. Nothing new, we all have our imperfections and shortcomings.

Smoking area

So what disturbs me the most, is that after a long flight, let’s say, on some airports it’s virtually impossible to find the smoking area. Those are often poor and look embarrassing once you find them, like two smoking area’s at Schiphol in Amsterdam, which are deliberately made extremely small, with no seats nor any wishful service.. and all made of glass in order to humiliate smokers. It’s over-crowded and it stinks inside. Or there is no smoking room at all (like in Warsaw, Poland for example), which is even worse.. so it can be frustrating.

Smoking area, at Schiphol Amsterdam, Netherlands.

But the smoking area at Nikola Tesla airport in Belgrade, is big, clean, friendly and modern. Ventilation system is good, so it doesn’t stink. You can sit there and order a drink or even some food, you can read (free) “Belgrade Insight” newspaper, in English - and there is even a huge display monitor on the wall, listing upcoming flights just to make sure you don’t miss your flight. There is also a service, the stuff is polite, friendly and in the end it’s possible not only to pay with a credit card, but also with a regular bank card. In short: just perfect!

The World’s sexiest airport customs

Right. Those you can find at Belgrade’s Nikola Tesla airport as well, the sexiest customs in the world. All pretty, sexy, friendly and polite girls. At least, I can’t remember I saw any guy there. Not that it matters that much, that latest, but in my perception it’s all about the first impression and “welcome” feeling once you land in some country. And Belgrade’s airport provides you exactly that.

The customs girls wear nice outfits, look good and above of all, they have an excellent understanding of make-up! My friend Ger was in a little trouble keeping his head cool. Had to warn him a couple of times: “not to stare”.

“Hmm.. it’s not forbidden to look, is it!?” He asked.
“No it’s not. Looking only is fine and it’s for free.” I answered.
“I can’t help it my friend, they are so gorgeous!” He said.

Ah, what the hell.. who am I to argue. ;)

That’s how we came to Serbia and that’s how we left Serbia behind. No bugging at all, except regular short passports check.

Inconveniences at Warsaw’s airport

Unfortunately, all of the above I can’t say about Warsaw’s airport. In Warsaw we encountered one inconvenience after another. Before we left Serbia (out of experience) I warned Ger to iron his clothes, but he went on like: “blah, blah, blah…” and I left it right there, like: “don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Indeed, it went wrong immediately after the landing in Poland, as soon we entered Warsaw’s first passports check point at the airport. The custom lady looked me intrusively: “Sir, are you staying for a long period in Poland?”
“It’s a transit check point where I’m standing now, isn’t it?” *smile*
“Yes, and it’s also a check point for domestic flights.”
“No, I’m not staying in Poland at all. I’m having a connecting flight to Amsterdam within an hour and half.” * I showed her my ticket *
“Very well sir.”

But then I saw Ger was not coming behind me, so I waited a couple of minutes… still no Ger. I went back and saw Ger still standing at the check point.

“She’s now bugging you, isn’t she haha”
“She took my passport away.”
“Hmmm… not good. Why? Did she ask you anything?”
“Yes, she asked if I also had any other documents, so I gave her my driving license. And now she’s away with my both documents.”
“Told ya, you should’ve ironed your clothes this morning haha. But don’t worry buddy, I’ll stick here with you, won’t let them hold you here. And if necessary, I’ll start intimidating them back! :)”

After fifteen minutes they let Ger pass and then we went to a luggage conveyor scanning row. There were many people waiting there. Two military guys were scanning everybody and everything. The military girl didn’t look friendly, but she was polite. The military guy was classic:

.. tall, squared head, bully and unkind.

Intimidating Polish customs

After half an hour waiting, I finally went through a body scanner gate. He started to talk to me in Polish.

Me: “I insist you talk to me in English sir!”
Him: “Where your luggage?” * he asked in bad English *
Me: “Can’t you see it? It’s going through your scanning conveyor right now!”

He kept looking at me a couple of seconds and then unwillingly nodded that I may pass.

“How intimidating! Is this all they learned under Russian rule, for Gods sake?!” I started complaining to Ger later on. “Let’s hope that after a such intimidation they have some decent smokers room around here, ’cause I badly need a cigarette and coffee now…”

Unfortunately there was no smoking area at all, we found out. So we couldn’t smoke. They did however have a chapel, for Catholics to pray.

Frakkin’ great!

“I’m not gonna spend any money here, I’m really pissed off now, and this airport is not gonna see me any time soon!” …were my last words to Ger. So, we spend our waiting in silence.

Embraer 145 airplane

Ger standing next to a Brazilian Embraer 145 airplane, owned by Polish LOT Airlines. The smallest commercial airplane I ever flew with. It’s still whistling in my ears. ;-)